You Should Be Angry About Rape Culture!

There was so much rave in Nigerian social media over the past few days about some young women who were raped, brutalized, and murdered in cold blood. The first story was about a 22-year old UNIBEN student who was raped and murdered in the church where she went to study. Uwaila Omozowu, the victim died at the University of Benin Teaching Hospital. She was beaten, raped, and hit with a fire extinguisher. Till this moment, nothing has been done to bring the perpetrators to the brook.

Barely 2 days after the sad story of Uwaila, another young woman of 18 years named Barakat was raped and murdered in Ibadan, Oyo state of Nigeria. Barakat was gang-raped and killed by unknown men. As social media (twitter) was set ablaze again, comments blaming the victims were also flying around. This brings us to this topic ‘RAPE CULTURE’.

Rape culture is not a myth. It is very real. It is very dangerous; it has done more harm than good to us. It is embedded in the way we think, speak, and move. It is perpetuated through the use of misogynistic language, coated with bad intentions on victim-blaming, the objectification of women’s bodies, and glamorization of sexual violence thereby creating a society that disregards women’s right and safety. Rape culture encourages people to treat rape as normal and instead of looking for how to help the victims, they are blamed for being raped.

Some women and men have suffered this menace because of indecent humans who have refused to discipline and guard their genitals, yet the victims are blamed? It is not just about normalizing this menace, embracing it, protecting the victims with languages that support their acts, and doling out things that women should do to avoid being raped. How does this even make sense to anyone?

I had a banter with an unenlightened fellow who was of the opinion that women should avoid certain places to avoid being raped. He further noted that what some women wear as clothes are contributory factors. I countered him by asking why Uwaila who was inside the church or Barakat who was fully covered from head to toes were raped and murdered if it was about dressing but he couldn’t answer. You see? People talk trash about what they don’t even understand just to establish their masculinity over women?

You as a man, saw gory photos of women who were raped and murdered, and the first thought that permeated into your head was why the victim didn’t dress decently? Why the victim visited a particular place? Why she shouldn’t have gone to the hotel? Does that excuse the fact that they were treated less than they deserved? Why do we have to pressurize women into doing certain things in other not to be raped but fail to pressurize men not to rape women? Why do women have to do 20 things in other not to be raped yet men can’t do just one thing which is ‘NOT TO RAPE WOMEN? Supporting rape with flimsy excuses like stated above is very sickening, don’t be caught in that web, please!

In case you are wondering why I sound angry; well you should be too. Sexual violence is a profoundly negative and traumatic life event with widespread psychological and sociological effects on the victims irrespective of the gender. And what you don’t know is that sexual violence is not restricted to any gender. The victims are usually traumatized and as a result, find it very difficult to speak up at first. So, the next time you want to ply the route of ‘Why is she/he speaking up now, remember to shut up! If you can’t offer kind words, remain quiet, please. There is absolutely nothing positive about rape. It gives rise to a wide range of negative emotions. The victims are perpetually left to wonder why it happened to them. It boosts the feelings of helplessness and vulnerabilities in the victim. It equally affects self-esteem. A victim of sexual violence is likely to be depressed and suicidal and they have difficulty speaking up because of social stigma and shame.

HOW DO YOU ENCOURAGE RAPE CULTURE?

You promote rape culture when you do or say any of the following…

1.    Why was her dressing indecent? (Blaming the victim)

2.    Making jokes out of rape stories

3.    Trivializing sexual assault by saying men will be men.

4.    Defining ‘manhood’ as dominant and sexually aggressive

5.    Defining ‘womanhood’ as submissive and sexually passive

6.    Asking why women visit hotels alone.

7.    Inferring in your statement that only promiscuous women get raped.

8.    Assuming men are not equally raped. Calling victims weakly.

9.    Saying some women accuse men falsely. It doesn’t make other stories unreal. You are simply encouraging them not to speak up.

10. Teaching women things to do in other not to get raped instead of teaching men not to rape.

HOW TO LEND YOUR VOICE TO STOP RAPE CULTURE

1.    Stop objectifying and degrading women. Women are not objects

2.    Speak out if you hear someone else making jokes about rape.

3.    Stop victim-blaming using statements like ‘why didn’t she dress decently? ‘why did she go there? Why didn’t she go with anyone? Just stop!

4.    Have zero-tolerance for sexual harassment and violence in places where you live or work.

5.    Listen to survivors and help where you can. Remember not to blame them in any way.

Finally, the government and those in authorities have a lot to do to eliminate rape culture. To end rape, stringent measures should be taken and the perpetrators must be held accountable and punished severely. By prosecuting sexual violence cases, people will recognize that rape is a serious matter and send a message of zero-tolerance. This issue has been ignored for long over the years, ignoring it further is no longer acceptable!